Talk About Unthinkable
by The Not Normal One
Summary: They say that moments before you die, you see your whole life up until that point, flash in-front of your eyes. Felicity Smoak, of course didn't believe that kind of bullshit, she knew better. Especially after she joined this not-so-little crusade of one Oliver Queen a few years back. Not HEA! Proceed with caution! My 1st take on Unthinkable. FPOV


**A/N: _A one-shot! My take on Unthinkable and I am already warning you, its not going to be nice. The episode kind of fucked with my head, which is the reason this came into my mind. I hate angst, sad stories but they broke my heart during the episode so I had to get this out of my head. _**

**_Believe me when I say this, I couldn't sleep until I got done writing this whole thing down. Its 8:40 in the morning and I haven't slept all night. I just kept watching the episode on repeat and kept writing this._**

**_This one-shot is basically a product of the fact that Oliver put Felicity as a bait to get to Slade. I just couldn't get this out of my head that if anything had gone wrong, Felicity might not have lived to see the next day. And as much as I am all about 'not everything is on Oliver & not everything is his fault' this particular incident was. So there you go, my fucked up brain created this fucked up story._**

**_Okay so don't hate me if you don't like it, I didn't like it much either. Its just a take on what could have happened. If you are looking for an HEA, its not here!_**

**Disclaimer: Its ALL on CW ! DC own the characters, CW owns the show and Arrow Writers are the one who broke my heart to millions of pieces.**

I have never thought about death or you know, dying, which was kind of odd given the life I lead. It was silly, but I always thought that if anything ever came up, there were few friends who would always be there to save the day, like every other time. There was this one person who would always be there for me, no choice to make, he would say. But I never really thought that he might have to choose one day, forced to do it and then the choice might no be me.

As I kneel in front of Slade Wilson, I chanced a glance at my friend standing in front of me, unarmed. His bow and quiver on the ground next to him as he stood there trying to reason with the mad man; talking about Shado to Slade.

"You see her, don't you? Shado?" Oliver said, rather than asking. He already knew the answer.

But Slade wasn't in the mood to talk, he wanted his revenge. He wanted Oliver to feel what he had felt and he wanted to kill me. Because he thought I was the woman Oliver loved.

I scoffed internally, only if Slade knew.

I thought back to a few hours ago when Oliver had all but dragged me to Queen Mansion. He asked me if I trusted him and of course I said yes. I trusted him with my life and it turned out, this time it was just that what was at stake. I didn't mind though, I would give my life for him, for this team, any day.

_He didn't say much, just told me to get on the bike with him and hold on. That Ducati of his is the ride to hell, I tell you. I was holding onto him so strongly until he had to pry my fingers away from his jacket when we had reached the property._

"_Oliver! What are we doing here? The whole city is falling apart." I said as we both entered the foyer._

"_I know." He said, taking a deep breathe "You need to stay here."_

_That confused me. What would even give him the slightest of idea that I would want to stay here in this big mansion and not with our team?_

"_What? Why! You cant just ask me …"_

"_I'm not asking. I'll come and get you when all of this is over."_

"_No!" I shouted after him as he turned to go back through the door we had just came in._

"_Felicity…" he started but I cut him off._

"_No! Not unless you tell me why?" I demanded._

"_Because I need you to be safe." He answered as if the answer was that simple. Why would he do this?_

"_But I don't wanna be safe. I want to be with you and the others ... unsafe."_

"_I cant let that happen" he said and I furrowed my brows in confusion. What the hell is going on here?_

"_Oliver … You're not making any sense" because he really wasn't and that coming from me, a genius, is sayin' something._

"_Slade took Laurel because he wants t kill the woman I love" he said as if I already didn't know that. Gorgeous Laurel._

"_I know. So?"_

"_So he took the wrong woman" he said._

_Ya ok. Umm … What? Nothing was making sense right now. Laurel is NOT the woman Oliver loves? And why was he looking at me like that? Oh … Oh …_

"_Oh!" Was he really saying what I think he is saying?_

_God! Why? The city is in a mess and this is the time he thought of to confess his love for me? Really?_

"_I love you." Oh my god! He actually said the words … He … Oliver … he loves me! Me! Felicity Smoak, MIT, class of '09. Shit!_

_And what was I to say to that? How do you tell the guy you have loved for basically the past two years just that? That you love him too … That it killed you every time he showed up with someone new in his arms. That you were dying to hear those words from him but never expected to actually hear them._

_And just like all good things should come to an end, this did too. I felt the cold plastic like thing in the palm of my hands that he was holding now. I felt the needle of the syringe and I knew that I was just making up something in my head that I should have known never could be true._

_Me, Felicity Smoak, wasn't that lucky. I mean, of course Oliver loved me, but so did Dig. We were a team, we looked out for each other, cared for each other, loved each other, but it was all _platonic_. I should have known better than to fall for the man._

"_Do you understand?" I heard him ask. I hadn't been able to look away from him this whole time. I just couldn't. Those eyes, bluer that the sea, those depths, they weren't letting me to look away. I felt him squeeze my hand a little and that bought me back to reality._

"_Yes" I said. I understood completely. He was trusting me with something important and I wouldn't fail him this time. I would be his weapon and I would help him defeat the mad man. Slade Wilson was going down._

_Oliver looked into my eyes for a moment longer before he was gone and I was left standing in that empty foyer of the now vacant Queen Mansion._

"_Huh!"_

And then I waited, doing my part, looking afraid, which I kind of was to be frank, but also surprised when two goons of Slade came to get me in the mansion.

As Oliver and Slade kept exchanging words I just sat there, kneeling, waiting. The syringe with the cure resided in my coat pocket and I was bidding my time.

I wasn't really paying much attention to what they were saying, but it was difficult to not feel the sword that was now resting on top of my shoulder. It was difficult to not notice to feel the coldness of the blade.

So then I paid attention to what exactly they were saying. I could hear Laurel behind me, trying to fight, get away from one of the _mirakuru _dosed soldier but I wasn't paying attention to her anymore. Right at this moment, it was on the two men in front of me.

"So, when her body lies at your feet, her blood wet against your skin. You will know how I feel." I heard Slade say. And I wanted to tell the man how wrong he was. That is was just a sham, done just to fool him but of course I didn't. That was the whole point of it afterall.

"I already know how you feel. I know what its like to hate. To want revenge." I heard Oliver say. I looked at him and we caught each others eyes before Slade held me by the arm and tugged me up to stand. Oliver continued but;

"And now I know what it feels to see my enemy so distracted, he doesn't see the real danger is right in front of him."

That was my cue, I slowly took the cure out of my pocket and stuck it into Slade's neck. He wasn't expecting that and that's what we were hoping for. Now with the cure in his body, he wasn't as strong or as lethal as he had been a few moments back. I quickly moved out from his reach as he yelled

"Kill her"

I wouldn't know how all of it happened. One moment I was trying to get away from his reach and the next moment I felt something sharp pass through me. The man holding Laurel had been shot with the cure by Sara but no one thought that Slade wouldn't be completely helpless. He was a mercenary after all.

With his one hand on his neck, his other held the sword that was now sheathed into my middle.

"Noooo" I heard a guttural cry from someone beside me. I heard Slade's voice, he was laughing and then he spoke;

"It might have been a trick to play me. For her to get close to me to shoot me with the cure but you didn't win, kid. Now she will die and you are the one to blame for sending her here as a bait to get to me. You might not love her but she does, and she will die in your arms with you knowing how it feels. You care about her and now you are going to loose her and it will be all your fault. I might not win kid, but you didn't either."

I couldn't stand, my legs gave out and I dropped to the ground. Sara shot Slade two more times with the cure and he was out for the time being, lying in the ground beside me. He had taken the sword out of me and I could feel my blood flowing out.

"Felicity … Felicity stay with me" I heard Oliver's voice and turned to look at him.

In that moment as they say, life didn't flash in front of me. All I could see was him, Oliver; his face, his eyes. He looked like he was in pain and I hated that. I just wanted him to be happy and if that wasn't always possible, he shouldn't atleast be in pain. He had his fair share of pain in his life while he was on that island, he didn't need more.

"O … O … Oliver" I managed to cough out his name. He was pressing on the wound in my stomach from where more blood was pouring out now.

"Felicity … I'm here! I'm right here. You are going to be okay. We are going to get you to a hospital and you will be absolutely fine. Just stay with me, okay? Just hold on! Okay?" he said. Tears were running down his face and that just didn't sit right with me.

"Sara … call a fucking ambulance!" he bellowed before I could say anything.

"I called, but the roads are blocked, they cant get here … they are trying but …" Sara trailed of and I smiled and then looked at Oliver's tear stained face again.

"You're crying!" I whispered. "Don't cry! Smile … We won. Your plan worked, we defeated Slade." I said and then took a deep breath and smiled looking at him. "You look beautiful when you smile. You should do that more."

He tried to lift me up but I yelped in pain the movement brought.

"Don't! Please don't … Don't try to move me. If I am going to die, atleast let me die in your arms" I choked out. I smiled as I thought how cliché it was for mr to say something like that. The IT nerd being a romanticist.

"I'm sorry. I am so sorry Felicity." he said and I frowned.

"Why are you sorry? You did it." I said, confused.

"I had help." He said and I smiled. Or at least I tried to, it was really becoming difficult to breathe but I still tried.

"Yeah! It was really smart. They way you outfoxed him." I said and he looked at me like he was the one who couldn't breathe.

"Talk about unthinkable, you and me, I mean." I took a deep breath before continuing "When you told me you loved me, you had me fooled for a second." I chuckled though it sounded like I was coughing. "Maybe, you might have meant it, what you said." I sighed, thinking if it were really true but quickly put that thought out of my head. "You really sold it." I said instead, looking into his eyes and they had so much pain in them.

"We both did." He chocked out and I shook my head. I couldn't focus on him for long, it was slipping from me, I could feel it. I tried to keep my eyes open for a few more moments. I had to tell him before …

"I …" I gulped "I wasn't …" my breaths were coming out shorter now. I could see blind spots but I tried to hold on for a little longer.

"I know this is terrible timing, I always have terrible timing when I spew out stuff but you should know" I whispered slowly "I know this was just a sham, and you don't love me, not like I do." I coughed and scrunched my eyes shut at the pain I felt.

"See … I cant even tell you that I love you, properly without messing up." I took another deep breathe and slowly let it out "What I meant to say is … I" another cough "I love you. And as terrible as the timing is, I had to tell you before …" I trailed of.

I could feel a lone tear trailing a path across my cheeks and I smiled.

"Will you promise me something?" I asked and Oliver looked like he was just about ready to tear through the whole city. Slade was still out cold in the ground, beside me. "Please?" I asked again and he nodded.

"I … I promise" he said through his tears and it killed me to see him like this.

"Don't add me to your list of causalities. It was my choice to come here and I don't regret a thing. We got Slade, we won, so don't berate yourself about what happened to me."

Oliver was shaking his head so I squeezed his one hand that I was holding on. He barely would have felt the pressure.

"Please! Let me be a happy memory. Remember me as your friend with a no brain to mouth filter who always said wrong stuff at the wrong places. And who was a genius, don't forget the genius." I said, slowly, whispering.

"You are not dying Felicity. You cant die on me, not like this. We have to celebrate this win, you cant … you cant leave me alone. Please …" Oliver said, his body shaking with sobs and my tears were now flowing freely.

"I am sorry … I don't really want to die … But I cant hold on for much longer. But I will always be by you. In here" I aid, placing my hand on top of his heart. "I will always be here. Just close your eyes and I'll be there.

"But promise me that you will be the man I always knew you could be, the man you were tonight. Be strong Oliver and you wont be alone. Never. The team will be with you, Laurel, Sara, Digg, Roy, all of them. Be the hero I know you are Oliver"

"No please Felicity, please, you can't! Please … Please don't do this to me" he said but I couldn't keep my eyes open for much longer anymore.

"I love you Oliver, remember that always, I love you" I said as my eyes began closing.

And as I closed my eyes for one last time, I heard it, him "I love you too, Felicity."

I smiled.

**A/N: _Dont hate me ... Please? I didnt know how to end this in any other way than what I did! I just had to get this out. Many of you might not like it but like I said, I had to get it out of my head, Imma gonna get some sleep now._**

**_Hopefully I will have some reviews waiting for me once I wake up._**

**_BDW ... Feel free to PM me if you wanna discuss the season 2 finale. Lets share our despair !_**

**_Until next time ..._**

**_~ Swag_**


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